Before
by ZombieJazz
Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbor friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she hoped. This is for the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD. Story 4 of series.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

Olivia pushed his feet off the couch when she'd returned from tucking Noah in again after he'd risen at his usual witching hour and stumbled into the living room bleary-eyed. This mother had guided him to the washroom and then back to bed – disappearing for about 15 minutes, before she returned and claimed her usual spot, tucking her feet under her and starring at the end of the local news.

He looked at her and looked around the room again. It was less than a week until Christmas and she still hadn't put up a tree and the only decorations to be seen were some construction paper creations hung on the fridge that Noah had created. Will doubted she'd even started her shopping.

"You and Noah should come to my parents' with me for Christmas," he hadn't even realized he'd said it out loud until she turned to catch his eye.

"I don't think so."

He looked back at the television. "Why not?"

"Because you make it sound so merry."

"It's not that bad," he stated. "I think Noah would like it. I think you would too. Big family Christmas."

She shook her head. "It's out of the way."

"Olivia, it's Staten Fucking Island." She made a meh sound. "It's a ferry ride."

She was quiet.

"Have you done any of your shopping yet?" He asked.

She shook her head.

"Have you decided what you're getting him yet?"

"Lego, dinosaur stuff, a book, clothes."

"Well that's pretty specific," he said sarcastically. "You think all of that is going to be easy to find in the week before Christmas?"

She looked at him. "Will, stop it."

He sighed. "You want to give me a list and I can go and look at some of the stores? Or at least I can call Greg and see if there's something at the shop he can set aside for you?"

"It's under control," she told him.

They were quiet for a while.

"You know my mom really likes you …"

"She doesn't know me."

"She wants to know you … and Noah. She's always asking why I don't bring you guys to any of the family functions – all of them – her, my dad, my brothers and my sister-in-laws."

"Will, you don't have reason to bring us and we don't have reason to go."

"You kind of do now," he said. "We're kind of … something … now," he ventured.

She looked at him. "Will, I don't know what we are. We're just us. Let's not make it more complicated than it already is."

His heart sank a bit.

"I should go," he said.

She watched him as he stood and felt badly.

"You don't have to go," she said. "It's just … can we change the topic."

"It's getting late anyways – it's a school night."

"School's out," she said – knowing the excuse really only applied to Noah and him and neither of them had classes in the morning. Noah's class could hardly be defined as class. And, taking her out of the equation - she had work but she was a night hawk anyways.

She sighed. "Noah would like it, if you're here in the morning. For breakfast."

It was an invitation and a peace offering – at least for the moment and then for the morning - though, indirect. Either way, he slunk back to the couch and slouched into it. She moved over so she was in his space, leaning against him – an effort to show she wasn't mad. He accepted it and pulled her a bit closer and pulled the blanket up and over both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

**THIS CHAPTER WAS RE-WRITTEN AND USED IN-PART IN UD SO ASPECTS OF IT MIGHT SEEM FAMILIAR OR REDUNDANT TO READERS OF THAT STORY.**

He held out a small pile of wrapped gifts to her as she opened the apartment door.

"For Noah," he said.

She gave him a tender smile and took them. She'd known he had gifts for her son. He generally took any occasion she allowed – and then some – to dote on her little boy. But this had been even more expected. It was Christmas and she was fairly certain she'd been with him when he'd picked up some of the gifts. At least she hoped so, though Will had chastised her on her last-minute shopping – and she'd only noticed him buy two things directly for her son. He'd handed her five little, neatly wrapped packages, though. Above what was expected and she hoped he hadn't gone overboard – as Will sometimes tended to do, seemingly to win both hers and Noah's affections. But he'd long ago already achieved that.

"We have something for you but I haven't wrapped anything yet," she said a little embarrassed.

He nodded but she could see that he wasn't really looking at her. He was again scanning her apartment – the faint crease of disapproval across his brow. It was Dec. 23. You couldn't tell by looking at her place, though. They'd finally got a tree but it was in the corner undecorated, save for some toys Noah had put on the branches and bits of paper he'd cut out and dangled from it.

"I'll make him wait to open them until you get back, though," she said, moving away from the door to let him enter.

He shook his head. He wanted the kid to have a nice Christmas. He knew Olivia tried but her own feelings about the holidays – bad memories – often meant she didn't really try hard enough. She mostly avoided until it was so late that it ended up just causing more stress and upset for her.

"It's OK," he said. "Let him open them Christmas morning."

There was a small pause and they eyed each other. She knew he was processing her declined invitation to spend the holidays with him and his family. But she'd done Thanksgiving once with his family before. That was more than enough. She didn't want to experience Christmas – especially based on his complaints about the entire ordeal that she'd heard for this now being the third Christmas since she'd known him. He didn't make it sound pleasant. Though, Willl didn't make most of his interactions with his family sound that pleasant. So supposed based on the weekend dinners and barbeques that she occasionally joined Will for over on Staten Island, she'd come to her own conclusion that they weren't that pleasant.

Though, his family definitely knew how to cook and how to grill and how to drink. Sometimes that was worth the trip out there. Really, though, she went to spend some time with Will and to occasionally get a glimpse at what family life was actually like. Sometimes it really made her not feel quite as bad that she was an only child without a father and without any aunts or uncles or cousins. The whole dynamic of Will's family was a little much. It was intense and a little crazy. She still sort of liked exposing Noah to that, though. It seemed like the kind of thing kids were supposed to get to experience – even if it wasn't their family, they could kind of pretend.

At least Noah got to play with some fake cousins for a few hours and chatter as his fake grandma and fake grandpa. Not that Will's parents ever seemed to really let on to the little boy that they were 'fake' in anyway. Olivia saw that especially Will's mother doted on her little boy in the much the same way as she would any of her grandchildren. She found a little strange to watch. She couldn't imagine her own mother interacting with her son that way. But maybe that was part of the reason she found it so fascinating and kept on tagging along on occasion, despite her often better judgment.

"Is he around?" Will asked. "I just want to say good-bye and merry Christmas and all that before I take off."

"Ah, yeah, he's in his room. Supposedly 'wrapping' something but he's been in there a while," she allowed. "I tried to check that he wasn't making too much of a disaster zone in there but got shrieked at."

Will gave her a smile and nodded. "I'll make sure he's leaving you some tape," he said and headed down the hall.

Olivia had noticed Will's brother lurking in the hallway during their little exchange. So she motioned for him to come in too. He held out a plate of cookie covered in saran wrap to her as he crossed the thershold.

"Mom sent these over for you," he said. "Didn't think you'd have had time to do any baking with work." She could see him now too looking around her very un-Christmas-y apartment. "She picked ones that are all hippie-fairy-sticks-and-twigs for you guys," he added as his eyes wandered through the space. "Look like Christmas cookies though. Mostly taste like them. My kids haven't noticed the healthy ones much anyways."

She wanted to rolled her eyes but kept it in check and just set the plate on the counter. "Thanks, that was nice of her," she offered.

He just nodded and rocked on the balls of his feet a bit. It was something Will did too. It seemed to be a family trait. A nervous tick of sorts.

The silence felt a little uncomfortable, though. She'd met Rob enough before to know him and to make small talk – but wasn't used to having to hold a conversation with him on her own - however brief. She saw him looking down the hall to where Will had headed. From where she was standing she could just see him sitting on the floor and talking to Noah.

"Yeah, I'm just, you know, driving Will over," Rob said.

He clearly wasn't comfortable with the silence either.

"Yeah, I'm sure he appreciates that. Easier than the ferry or the bus – with his bag and stuff," she agreed. She didn't know what more there was to say on the matter. Was there ever really much to add on small-talk topics?

Rob nodded.

"Umm, can I get you something?" she offered instead. Assigning herself a task and him keeping his mouth full of fluid would give them an excuse not to talk to each other while Will said his goodbyes to Noah. "Coffee? Coke? Water?"

"Nah. I'm sure he'll only be a few minutes anyways," Rob said. Olivia felt an inward sight at that. No drink meant continued conversation unless she tried to ignore him. He was still glancing around her apartment.

"So what are you guys anyways, Jewish or something?" Rob attempted as a joke – and then realized with a name like Noah, maybe there actually was some Hebrew in the family lines. He suddenly regretted that he may have come across as something he didn't mean to. The joke fell flat and he fell quiet – again.

"Things have just been busy," she allowed. "We're working on it now. We usually kind of get the tree up on Christmas Eve anyways." She nodded in its direction, trying to establish that there was some effort going into having things ready. Sort of.

Rob nodded and looked at the floor.

"Umm, look, Will told me not to bug you about it, but I just wanted you to know that you guys are still invited, if you change your mind or whatever," he told her a in a tone that was a little quiet for Rob's usually booming presence.

She watched him for a beat before nodding. "Yeah, no, I appreciate it. But I just think Noah and I are going to do our own thing this year," she said, hoping he'd drop it, though she knew that wasn't really in his personality.

"Yeah, looks like you've got a lot going on," he said with a sarcasm that sounded a bit too much like Will's for her liking. She tolerated that tone and attitude from Will. She didn't think she much cared to hear it from his older brother. But she sighed and looked back to Will – who was oblivious to the on-goings in the kitchen and smiling about whatever he and Noah were talking about.

"We haven't done something to upset you?" Rob asked. "It's not the whole cop versus firefighter thing? Or one of us or one of the kids did something or said something to you or Noah? Tom? I know he can be an ass. He rubs Will the wrong way all the time too. But he doesn't mean anything by it. Not really."

She shook her head and held up her hand. "No, Rob, it's nothing like that. Noah and I – we're just used to doing our own thing at Christmas."

It wasn't really Will's family. It was and it wasn't. She just didn't want to get involved in one of Will's family's holiday affairs. They were always a little much. They were complicated and loud and just … crazy. They weren't what she was used to – at all. She tried the family Thanksgiving one year. She'd been to some of the larger barbeques. She just found the whole experience unsettling. She wasn't used to that much family or that much of a neighborhood and community feel. She didn't like spending that much time around giant crowds of firefighters and dealing with the jokes and ribbing about the NYPD.

Then even if you got beyond all that there was the whole dynamic between her and Will. When it was just the two of them. When it was just them and Noah – they could make their own rules. They were comfortable with their own rules and comfortable with the little unit they'd created. But people from the outside looking in always seemed confused by them. They wanted to know their status or wanted them to define who and what they were to each other more. Olivia was usually pretty good at ignoring it all. But when it came from Will's parents it was a different kind of pressure and disapproval that she often felt very uncomfortable operating around.

Rob nodded, though.

"OK. Because we're just trying to get to know you a little better," he said. He could tell she wanted the conversation to end and see her staring down the hall to his little brother. "Look, I know you guys are … undefined or just friends or fuck buddies or whatever," he said. "None of us will be grilling you about it. We aren't judging."

She gave him a sideways glance, clearly unimpressed. He suspected if Will wasn't there, she'd be throwing him out.

He sighed. "Look, the family, we worry about Will a lot. Worried about him a lot – especially after Tessa. And, Mom with him living in the city alone …" he trailed off a bit. "We worry less now that he's got you guys … to tend to and to watch out for him." That at least got some of her attention. "He's been more himself these last couple years – smiles more, laughs more. Just … we see more of Will then we had for a while there."

He rubbed his thumb against the counter. Fuck her place looked so much nicer than his brother's – considering the places where exactly the same.

"I mean, we've been hearing about you guys for years now it seems. We've met you. Our kids have hung out. But you keep turning down all of our invitations to come spend time with the family at some of our functions," he said.

"Rob…" she started but she just really don't know what to say.

"It just sucks," he said before she could get any more out. "We want Will home and want to do our little family traditions – especially now with Mom and Dad getting older. Mom wants … needs … us all there. But it sucks to feel like we're pulling Will away from something and to feel like he really wants to be somewhere else."

She looked at him.

"Anyways," he waved his hand. "The invitation is open. You know where to find us. We don't see you … have a merry Christmas." He moved back towards the door. "Just tell Will I'm waiting in his place – must be wrapping up something pretty big in there …"


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

**THIS CHAPTER WAS RE-WRITTEN AND USED IN-PART IN UD SO ASPECTS OF IT MIGHT SEEM FAMILIAR OR REDUNDANT TO READERS OF THAT STORY.**

She looked at the phone and smiled. He'd barely been at his parent's 12 hours and he was already calling her. She didn't think that was a good sign about how their holiday gathering was going so far.

"Hey," she said, answering.

"Hey, I'm just checking in," Will said, pressing the phone against his ear and still trying to work through the sink of dishes. "What you guys up to?"

She sat back in her chair and looked across at her son who was happily working his way through a giant Belgian waffle, piled with fruit.

"We are at Chez Cora's," she said.

"Oooh, no – without me?" he sighed with a bit of a tease in his voice.

But Olivia knew it'd make him a little jealous. They usually took any mutual days off as an opportunity to have a quiet morning at the coffee shop of bantering with Noah, reading the paper or their paperbacks, her working on a crossword and him working on a sudoku - and both of them arguing about sports and politics and dealing with her son's stomping dinosaurs and whooshing cars and general demands they play with him or let him help read the paper or complete their puzzles. But on the mornings she indicated she felt like something more substantial than a coffee and pastry, they'd transfer their setting to brunch at Cora's instead. It was always about the first place Will would suggest. She suspected he just assumed that they never went to the little French café that he'd introduced them to without him. He was wrong there. Usually, though, she didn't rub it in his face.

"Mmm … here, talk to Noah," she said.

Avoiding discussing their dining choices, she handed her phone across the table to her little boy. He'd barely had grabbed it when she started questioning that choice. His grubby little hands were near covered in whip cream and strawberry juice.

"Tell Will about your breakfast," she instructed, letting Noah be the one to rub their brunch in Will's face. "… and merry Christmas," she added as an after-thought.

"Merry Christmas Eve!" Noah stated happily into the phone.

"Hey Little Man," Will smiled. "I hear you're at Cora's without me."

"Yeah," Noah smacked into his ear, now pushing a strawberry into his mouth with his fingers – not trying to handle his fork and the phone.

"What you having?"

"Waffles," he said.

"Waffles? With strawberries?" Will asked. He didn't need to ask. He knew that any fruit platter or fruit eating opportunity wouldn't be complete in the little boy's mind unless it included strawberries. That was definitely the fault of his mother, who seemed to favor buying the berries even when they were well out of season and dry and sour after being shipped from across the land.

"Yeah! And whip cream!" Noah declared even more enthusiastically.

"You're making me jealous. What's your mommy having?"

"Eggs," Noah mumbled with a full mouth.

"That's kind of boring," Will said. Olivia wouldn't have him at Cora's if she'd just been craving eggs. That wasn't why they went there – and she near ALWAYS ordered the same thing, despite him having pointed out repeatedly there was a whole menu should could be taste-tasting.

"Umm. Omelet," Noah said after a short pause where he had to clearly consider and try to remember the word for his mother's breakfast.

"That's a bit more exciting. Spinach and Swiss?" he asked.

"Yeah," Noah smacked some more – rather loudly – into his ear.

"And is she sharing her breakfast potatoes?" Will teased.

"Yeah," the little boy added with a bit more glee. "And Mommy let me eat your potatoes too since you not here!"

"Oh, boo," Will smiled into the phone. "You ate my potatoes?"

"Yeah!" Noah stated clearly happy that he'd outdone him and beaten him to something he wasn't even there to enjoy.

"Geez Louise!" Will declared goofily.

"Swiss Cheese!" Noah giggled.

"Hmm," Will said. "At least she's not sharing that with you. I hope."

"No. That's gross," Noah informed him.

Will didn't understand how Olivia had a child who didn't like cheese. He thought cheese was a part of childhood. Much like Star Wars and Lego. He'd brought Noah over to the Dark Side on the other two. Though his Sith Lord powers of persuasion would likely be better used on tempting the little boy to expand his palliate. Olivia always just shrugged that her son was a picky eater, though.

"Is she having one of her fancy coffees?" Will pushed again a bit more teasingly with the boy.

"Yeah. It's biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggg," Noah informed him.

"Well moms need big coffees on Christmas Eve," he said. "'Kay you be good to her for the rest of the day and I'll talk to you tonight. Hand me back to Mommy, OK?"

"Yeah."

"Hey," she said into the phone again – holding it with the tips of her fingers and a bit away from her ear until she got a real chance to wipe off all the stickies her son had left on it.

"Your morning sounds way more exciting than mine so far," Will informed her.

She smiled. "Why? What are you up to?"

"I am doing dishes."

She snorted. "That's a good start to the day."

His parents didn't have a dishwasher. Though, she'd been informed they had three named: Rob-Tom-and-Will while he was growing up. It seemed like they usually had one named Will whenever he was over at their house too.

"Tell me about it," he turned his head a bit knowing his mother was still lurking within earshot. "I'm missing you guys."

She smiled softly. "We miss you too," she allowed.

She did. It was always a little strange to have a day off but to know that Will wouldn't be knocking on their apartment door wondering if they wanted to hang out. Him being part of their daily routine was just routine anymore. It usually felt like something was missing when she didn't see him over a period of more than 24 hours – even if spotting him had just been for a few minutes in the elevator on the ride down to the lobby in the morning.

In their brief pause and she could hear him sloshing around in the sink. "What are you plans for the rest of the day?" she asked.

"Well, I am going to finish up here and then help Mom with getting some stuff for the open house ready. Then I'm gong to go to the kids' Christmas pageant thing. Then come back and change. Put out more stuff for the open house. Get to deal with the open house. So basically drink as much as possible. Avoid people by going downstairs to watch Christmas specials with the kids. Stuff my face full of hors d'oeuvres and Chinese food. Then I'll try to be sober enough to go to Midnight Mass – endure my annual foray into religion. Have my brother's try to make me drink some more when we get home. Then I'll pass out for a few hours until all of them come back here. Try not to let the screaming kids annoy my hangover headache too much. After that I'll likely eat Mom's turkey and stuffing until I'm about ready to burst – and then my family will make me go outside anyways to play street hockey. I'll be roughed around. I likely will puke. But hopefully after that I might get to sleep at some point by the late afternoon tomorrow."

"Sounds like a busy couple days," she snorted. It actually sounded pretty awful. Yet, based on other descriptions he'd given her of his family's Christmases, she thought he was trying to tame it down a bit – likely because his parents were within earshot.

"Yeah, you have no idea," he looked around again and caught his mother eavesdropping. She turned away as he caught her eye. "What about you guys? You decided what you going to do with the rest of today?"

"Yeah, I have been thinking about it," she said. "A lot." She heard him make his listening sounds into the phone as the water splashed around some more. "You want to cut back on some of your busy schedule and come and get us?"

She didn't hear the water now.

He looked over his shoulder. His mom was still hovering in the next room. "You want to come over?" he tried to say a bit more quietly.

She wasn't sure that 'want' was the right word.

"I want to spend Christmas with you," she said instead. That was the truth. "I want Noah to get to spend Christmas with both of us."

She heard him fumbling a bit on the other end. "Well, yeah, that's not a problem. I can borrow one of my brothers' cars and come back and pick you guys up."

"I need some time," she said. "I mean, I haven't finished wrapping and need to put some stuff in a bag."

"Yeah, no, that's OK. We can do the wrapping here if you want. So you aren't rushed. Umm … what about like 2 p.m.? So I can still go to the kids' pageant?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. That's perfect."

"Umm, OK. Well, I'll see you then."

"Yep." She hung up and smiled at Noah, who was still working on his breakfast, completely oblivious to what was to come.

She hoped it was good things - a Christmas with Will and maybe a glimpse at what a normal family Christmas looked like. Though, she knew that was likely hoping for a little too much. Will may have grown up in a nuclear family but she didn't know she'd ever describe their dynamic as normal. And, if that was normal - having a family definitely wasn't a calming or relaxing experience. But, still, she'd get to let her little boy have Christmas with someone more than her. That seemed to count for something. Maybe having Christmas with someone more than Noah might count as something for her too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

She looked frazzled as she opened the door for him.

Noah basically threw himself at him as soon as he got in the door and Will quickly picked him up and flipped him around like a bag of flour amidst the little boy's fits of giggles. But by the time he'd gotten through his few seconds of silly roughhousing – ending with tossing Noah over the side of the couch, which always created even greater glee and usually protests from his mother about being careful – Liv was no where to be found. The scolding about the man-handling of her son and the apparently detrimental nature of rough-housing didn't come. She'd already disappeared silently back to her bedroom. So Will worked at calming Noah's sillies himself and then managed to get him to sit down and start writing a 'letter' (i.e. drawing a picture) to let Santa know he should be leaving presents at Nana May's and Popa Ted's that night – not the apartment.

Liv still hadn't reappeared at that point, though, and he was starting to think he'd really done something wrong. Or maybe worse … that he'd driven all that way back there for her to have decided she didn't want to come out to his parents' place after all. He slowly rose from the table – trying not to attract attention from Noah – and creep down the hall to see what she was doing.

"Are you almost ready?" Will asked poking his head in the bedroom to see complete disaster.

She sighed at him. "I have no idea what to take. None of the presents are wrapped," she added, waved at the bags sitting semi-hidden on the opposite side of the bed.

He'd gone shopping with her in the last minute chaos crowds earlier in the week. Though it wasn't the way he would opt to do Christmas shopping, he was surprised at how efficient she was. They'd been in and out of the five stores she had wanted to go into as quickly as possible given the throngs of people. She'd only stand in front of some of the things she wasn't sure about for only a couple minutes, before she'd thrust something into his arms or took it under her own. The couple things he'd picked up and shown to her as a suggestion, she'd take from him, look at it careful, sometimes ask him a question and then say "OK" and let him add it to the pile.

Though, Will suspected her lack of planning and impulse shopping meant she'd ended up spending more than she meant to - and really more than he'd ever imagined. But as he stopped to think about it, he also realized that Liv wasn't one to buy her son things during the rest of the year just-because. Christmas and his birthday were the only times that new toys appeared for his little boy - and Will knew for a fact that his birthday certainly wasn't this overdone.

The couple times Will had made the mistake of thinking he could randomly bring a toy over for Noah, she'd made clear her disapproval. She gave him an allowance and if he wanted a toy – he was expected to save up for it – even now at four. He thought she was a little crazy. Actually, some times he thought she was a bit of a hardass.

"Look. Don't worry about that. We'll wrap them at my parents'," he said, thinking that would be another hour or two of work. They probably didn't have that much time but it likely also provided an excuse to retreat from his family and the open house for a bit. "I'll go get a garbage bag or something to put them in so he doesn't see him."

He started to leave the room. "How fancy is this open house and church?" she called after him.

He could see she was rattled. It actually made him smile a bit to see her stressing out about the impression she'd make on his family. It was actually ridiculous since they'd all met her before – multiple times. But he knew most of the time it seemed to be a nervous-wrecking experience for her. He could understand that. It still was for him most of the time too.

"Casual," he told her.

It took him longer to find some bags to put the gifts in than he had suspected. He'd actually ended up walking next door to his place and digging out one of his old hockey bags and a workout bag from the bottom of his closet, slightly unimpressed that he had to dump its content onto his bed. He'd taken a whiff of it and hoped it didn't reek too badly.

She still didn't look like she'd made much progress by the time he got back. But at least she had some clothes sitting on the bed now.

He went to the other side and started putting some of the toys into the bags.

"Liv, you don't need to think about this so much," he was starting to wonder what she'd been doing with the last four hours and hoping it wasn't staring at her closet like this. She clearly hadn't been packing since they got off the phone – and it didn't take that long to finish breakfast and walk home from the bistro.

"You know better what's appropriate," she said, waving her hands out at what she had pulled from the closet. He was finding it slightly ironic that she was basically asking his opinion when she had, on more than one occasion, made it clear that she thought his sense of style was highly questionable.

He stood and looked at what she had out.

"I don't know you need to take a dress," he told her.

She looked at him. "What do your sister-in-laws wear? Dresses?"

He thought about it. He'd never really gawked at them that closely. "They might," he offered cautiously. He certainly didn't want to be blamed for advising against a dress and then for her to feel like everyone had one on but her.

She looked back at the dresses again. "So which one?"

He thought about it again. "The green one," he said.

She looked fucking hot in it on the couple he'd seen her in it in the hallway. He usually made him slightly jealous to see her going on like that. Though, she always claimed it wasn't for a date – it was for work. He wasn't sure he believed that dress was work appropriate – undercover or not.

"You should take that black sweater thing, though, to wear with it," he added.

He wasn't sure his parents would think she looked as hot in the dress as he did. They were more likely to think it was a cocktail dress than a Christmas party or Church outfit.

She nodded, actually, approving of his suggestion. He was surprised at that too. Two fashion advice tips without any comments? And she usually mocked his sweaters and cardigans every fucking chance she got.

"You'll want some jeans and stuff too, though," he told her quickly – realizing that maybe he'd set the bar too high about the attire that was expected for the occassion. "Liv, it's only like a day and a half, you don't have to go crazy."

"Is the dress OK for the open house and for church?" she asked, ignoring the rest of his statement.

He sighed. "I don't know. Likely."

"Do you wear the same thing?"

"I don't really get that dressed up for the open house. Jeans. I might put on pants for church." She gave him a look that said she was barely restraining herself from making a smart-ass remark at him about that statement. "I might put on dress pants for church," he clarified, rolling his eyes, before she had a chance to be obnoxious. "But you don't have to come to church with us, Liv, it's fine."

She glared at him slightly at the not coming to church comment – like that was somehow insulting. Considering she had clearly been about to joke about him being pant-less at his parents' party but putting a pair on for church was likely a good plan – he wasn't sure what she had to be glaring about.

"Your sister-in-laws?" she demanded again – like what his brothers' wives wore apparently set some sort of standard about what was expected to her.

He supposed maybe she had a point – but she also didn't. She wasn't his wife. She made clear every chance she got that she wasn't his girlfriend. That they weren't a couple. She wasn't sure what they were. He wasn't either. But considering the fact he never got laid and all the other bullshit he dealt with from her and Noah on a near daily basis anymore – he was pretty sure it was near marriage. At least based on the descriptions that got grumbled at him by his brothers and colleagues at work. Actually – maybe his and Liv's relationship … whatever it was … sounded a bit better than that. They at least seemed to hate each other less than what a lot of married couples did … sometimes. Still, he didn't think she could be comparing her attire to Karen and Becky's. Olivia definitely wasn't a Karen or Becky type either. His family could deal with her wearing whatever the fuck she wanted as far as Will was concerned.

"I think they might get changed," he shrugged. "Maybe something more work-like for the thing tonight and the dress for church?"

She nodded and tossed something else toward her suitcase.

"What about tomorrow?" she asked.

He looked at her. "Pajamas," he said seriously.

She raised an eyebrow. "Pajamas?"

"Yes, Liv, pajamas. No one will expect you to get dressed until around noon and then jeans will be fine."

"For Christmas dinner?"

"It's more like a Christmas lunch at our house and, yes. The guys and their families will roll in. It will just be us. No one will be dressed up."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure," he added with a certainty on that one.

He finished putting the presents in the hockey bag as she went about fitting her things into her suitcase. He said a silent reminder to himself to thank Tom again for letting him borrow the car, because it was starting to look like they were moving to Staten Island and not like they were just spending an overnight.

"Do you have Noah packed?" he asked.

"Umm. I put some stuff out on his bed too. Can you go and pick what would be best and bring it back here?"

He sighed and walked to the boy's room. He grabbed what looked like the nicer outfit from the bed and the PJs and socks and underwear. He didn't see the point of packing clothes for the boy. He'd be getting new clothes in the morning.

She raised an eyebrow at him when he just handed her the small pile of clothes, though.

"Liv, you bought him clothes. He'll open them and wear them."

She nodded without comment – apparently that made enough sense that she wasn't going to protest. She headed out the door of the bedroom and across the hall to the bathroom, starting to clatter around with her toiletries in there.

"I put some food in bags on the counter," she called at him.

He rolled his eyes at that but wandered back into the kitchen – checking on Noah and looking inside one of the bags. He was going to feel a bit like an idiot bringing food to his mother's already overstocked kitchen but he wasn't going to argue with her about it. Though he thought Liv had been at his parents' house for enough visits – or at least ended up with leftovers his mother sent home with him – that she should know she didn't need to bring any offerings of food to the gathering. But Noah could be a picky-eater – so if she wanted to bring half her pantry to their house … whatever.

"Do you have a bottle of wine you'd be OK giving away?" he asked loudly so she could hear above the racket she was making. "Oh, and do you have any NYPD stuff with the tags still on it?"

She stuck her head out of the bathroom. "Yeah. Just pick one and there should be a hat or something in the closet, just check. Why?"

"Gift exchange."

"What do you mean?" she called back to him having disappeared again.

He walked back over to the bathroom and leaned against the jam so he could actually talk to her. He hated when they yelled across the apartment. He hated worse when Liv heard him moving about in his apartment and pounded in the wall and called out something at him. He could never really make it out and always ended up walking next door to ask what she wanted. Usually it was for him to turn down his music or to stop yelling at the team playing on the television. Sometimes it was something important like – 'We're headed out in five minutes if you want to walk with us to the subway'. So occasionally it was worth seeing what she was saying. Most of the time he wished he'd ignored it. But he just generally hated screaming across creation. He reminded him of growing up and all the yelling across the yard and neighborhood and house that his family did. He didn't think his family knew how to talk at indoor levels – EVER.

"We do that gift exchange game for grown-ups tomorrow night," he told her. Now she was doing her make-up. He didn't know why she had to do that now either. "Figure a bottle of wine should work OK for it – so you can participate, if you want."

She nodded initially but then shook her head. "Exchange game? So I'm exchanging wine and an NYPD cap?"

He made a blarg sound. "This is where my family Christmas stuff gets complicated." She looked away from the mirror and at him. "OK, so they do the whole kids draw a name and grown-ups draw a name and then a family draws a name generally for stockings. So like we don't have to buy gifts for everyone."

She looked at him … "O… K?"

"So now you guys have been kind of added at the last minute – but it's OK because Rob's oldest hadn't want to participate at all this year and it wasn't even clear if he was gong to be home until just the other day. So rather than treat him as an adult he gets to be a kid – so him and Noah got paired up. So we need to get something for him … from Noah. So the hat."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "Umm. OK. … That's kind of a shitty gift to end up with – especially if they're making him actually run out on Christmas Eve and get something for Noah?"

Will shook his head. "Nah. My parents or Karen will deal with it. Don't worry about it."

She looked at him more and rubbed her eyebrow. "Maybe we should stop somewhere and get him something … real …"

He shrugged. "If you want. I don't think Jim cares. Or we could print off an Amazon gift certificate, I guess."

"This seems to be getting more complicated," she sighed. He could tell she was again starting to question if she really wanted to come. He didn't like that. He wanted her there.

"It's not," Will assured her and touched her shoulder. "Just don't worry about it. They're glad you're coming."

She nodded a little unsurely. "OK."


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

He'd been surprised at how quickly they'd been able to wrap the gifts after they managed to get to his parents' house. It'd been a longer afternoon then he thought it would be and things had felt a little rushed. They'd still been upstairs finishing up when people started arriving for the open house. But so far they'd managed to avoid disaster – beyond a small moment where his mother hadn't been sure if Liv would be sleeping in his room or wanted her own room and had been unsuccessful in trying to be discreet about asking, resulting in Olivia feeling self-conscious and awkward about what their relationship was or wasn't and how his family perceived and interacted with it.

They seemed to be doing OK now, though. Noah was thrilled to have other kids to play with and had happily disappeared down to the basement with the rest of them. Liv had kind of disappeared into the mish-smash of firefighters – current and retired – who had crammed into the house and he was attempting to make small talk with those who reached out and touched his shoulder wanting to catch up after not seeing him in a year. He was also trying not to drink too much. This was his least favorite part of Christmas.

"Will," he heard and felt a hand on his elbow. He turned away from his conversation to see Rob's wife, Karen. "I think Olivia might be feeling a little overwhelmed by our chaos," she told him, nodding towards the kitchen. "She's been nursing a drink in there for a while. I chatted with her a bit but she seemed quiet. She doesn't usually come across as a shy one."

"Umm," he sputtered. "Not really. I'll check on her. Thanks."

He tried to nudge his way towards the kitchen. It wasn't easy. The place was packed. His mother was in her element catering to everyone while he could hear Rob cavorting with others in a very loud voice. Tom wouldn't get there until much later in the evening after visiting his wife's family. Will was sort of envious of Tom having an excuse to skip out on the family's Christmas Eve festivities. The irony was that Tom would likely much prefer to be at the McTeague's open house than hanging out with the in-laws.

"Hey," Will greeted after he finally reached Olivia.

She gave him a small smile. Her discomfort and her thought process – that they shouldn't have come, that they should've just stayed in the city and done their own thing (i.e. not much) – was apparent. It made Will feel a little sad. He should've been doing a better job to stay by her side at the gathering. But his parents kept pulling him away to talk to whomever and Olivia was usually more than able to hold her own at anything they went too. Usually she made a habit of pointing out that she didn't need a chaperone and that she didn't want people thinking they were a couple – so she'd shoo him off so she could do her own thing. It was usually him who ended up being a wall flower or nursing a drink somewhere waiting for the evening to end. Not her.

"It will really start to calm down after we get passed like 8:30, 9 o'clock," he promised. "Most people will have by bail around 10." He looked at his watch and saw that it was only 7:30. "You OK?" he asked.

She nodded. "I just didn't realize exactly how big of deal with was for your family … I should have. You've whined about it enough."

He gave her a smile – a little embarrassed – but nodded. As soon as he got through Thanksgiving with his family, he'd start dreading Christmas. Olivia had heard about it for two years now. She was likely sick of hearing it. But he supposed she'd been forewarned.

"It's just a firefighter thing," he allowed. "It's tradition."

"It is a lot of firefighters in one spot," she agreed.

"They being nice to you?" he teased.

It was no secret that there was some animosity – or at least a competitive slant – between the NYPD and FDNY. Will didn't truly understand it. But he'd been lectured about it by his brothers for years (his dad seemed more laidback about it but he thought that was years of union work and various committees and negotiations in the way of 9/11) and Olivia had pretty much confirmed that reality as soon as she met his family. Actually, it'd been pretty clear from the moment she connected his family name to their firefighting history in the city. It was a legacy Will didn't much care for. The whole thing wasn't really anything he could relate to.

But she managed another thin smile for him. "Yeah. No one knows who I am anyways. I don't know what to tell them when they ask," she admitted. "Your sister-in-law …"

"Karen?"

She nodded. "She introduced me to a couple people as 'Will's Olivia'."

He could tell she wasn't that impressed by the title, though he kind of liked it. But he knew he and Liv were at different points and had different perceptions of what they were and weren't. They always had. He was starting to accept they probably always would. As healthy as their relationship was – it was also pretty fucked up. He supposed because it wasn't actually a relationship even though they still acted like it was a lot of the time.

"I just don't know if we're supposed to be acting like friends or a couple or what, Will," she added a bit more quietly. "Around your family – that's one thing. That's strange enough sometimes. Awkward. But around all these other people?"

He shook his head and squeezed her hand, moving a little closer to her. "We aren't supposed to act like anything," he assured her. "It's OK just to be us."

"I just kind of feel like people are judging me," she said a little quieter, "analyzing us, and who I am. … Comparing me to your wife."

His eyes shifted, softening for a moment as she said it. He gazed at her steadily, though – remaining quiet for what felt like too long. But then he sighed.

"Liv, no one is judging you. Most of these people wouldn't have even known Tessa. My family's already met you. My mom is thrilled you're here. No one is judging or comparing. I'm happy you're here. Really happy."

He wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to offer the comfort of a small hug. But he felt her pull away and noticed Karen had walked back into the room with a tray that needed to be refilled. Olivia had already expressed to him she wasn't that comfortable with even their most basic physical affection – as platonic as they supposedly were - when they weren't anywhere announcing themselves as a couple, which was what she felt his Catholic family needed and wanted.

"Com'on," he said – respecting her hugging stance but still taking her hand. "I'll introduce you to a couple people."

She followed him and he looked around the room and found an older couple – his parents' age. Gary had worked with his dad. They walked over.

"Captain Lowell," he said, sticking out his hand, "Merry Christmas."

The man and his wife were all smiles on seeing him. "Will, the only time of year we see you," he joked and tapped on his shoulder.

"Not true, not true. There's always Fourth of July too," he countered. "Umm, Mr. and Mrs. Lowell, I just wanted to introduce you to my friend Olivia. She's with the NYPD too, like Eddie."

"Oooh." That was enough of an introduction to get Lowell asking some questions and chatting away about his son and the Force. Liv humored him and listened – though he knew that she wasn't much for the beat cop life compared to the detective's.

He stuck closer to her side after that – moving between the guests in the room that was slowly starting to thin out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

"Uncle Will," there was the tromp of feet up to the top of the stairs.

The party had thinned out and they'd been able to claim a spot on the couch. Rob and Ted had headed outside with some of the younger guys – where the party and the beer drinking had mostly moved. Meanwhile, Will's mother was already puttering a bit in the kitchen cleaning up and visiting with some of the ladies who had insisted on staying behind to help. Karen had been sitting and talking quietly with her and Will while the kids continued to hoot-and-holler in the basement intermingled with the sounds of clips from various Christmas specials. It sounded like A Charlie Brown Christmas was the viewing choice at the moment. Though it didn't sound like many of them were actually watching it. They were clearly hyped up about it being Christmas Eve and the pending presents in the morning.

That is, most of the kids were. Her son apparently wasn't.

"Noah fell asleep and fell off the couch," Will's 14-year-old niece informed him as she reached the living room. "He's blocking things."

Olivia wasn't sure she wanted to know what her son was blocking. But based on some of the boys' voices and clattering going down there she could only imagine. So she was pretty sure whatever he was blocking – she wanted him moved. She glanced at Will – meeting his eyes firmly.

He stood, "I'll go check," he assured her.

She nodded and then glanced at the grandfather clock keeping rather noisy time off in the corner of the living room. But she thought maybe she'd been getting used it it. She hadn't noticed it sound off each quarter-hour for a while. But it was just past 9:30. Not exactly late but while passed Noah's usual bedtime and she measured if it made sense to continue to let him sleep before attempting to join Will and his family for mass.

She wasn't really into church and Will had made clear she wasn't expected to go by his family and he certainly didn't feel she needed to come and participate. But she knew how religious his parents could be. They'd had enough little head-butts over the past couple years – some of them inadvertently and some of them because she just thought they were being ridiculously and hadn't been able to bite her tongue. With it being Christmas, though, she was trying to put in some effort. They clearly were – and Will clearly was. So she should too.

Beyond that, she came over so she and Noah could spend the holiday with Will. That meant they should spend the holiday with Will. So, if he was going to church she supposed her and Noah would be going too.

"You going to try to get him down for the night?" Karen smiled at her, noticing her contemplating of the clock face.

"I might see if he'll sleep a couple hours before church," she said. "Do yours stay up through it OK?"

Olivia wasn't sure how she felt about the concept of Midnight Mass. It seemed like it might be asking a little much of some adults – especially ones who'd begun their celebrations early and had been drinking most of the afternoon or evening. But it definitely seemed to be asking a lot of children. She wasn't sure if it was actually a faux-pas taking a preschooler to the thing. She figured Will's sister-in-law might give her a more honest answer than the rest of the bunch. Karen seemed the most level-headed – and the closest Olivia could manage to relate to – among Will's family.

Karen laughed, though, and shook her head a bit. "They'll be OK until we get there but will be asleep in the pews by the end," she said – almost suggesting it was about the most boring service they could ever hope to attend. "We wouldn't have even tried when mine were as small as your little guy. We just got back on-board the midnight mass thing a few years ago. I actually think we should've waited a couple more years – even with the kids teenagers now - but Rob likes being there with his mom."

Olivia just nodded as she processed that. Maybe church was a bad idea.

"I know I should know but how old is Noah now? Four? Five?"

"Four," she allowed.

"I think you're brave even trying to keep him up for Midnight Mass," Karen told her sincerely.

"Will said it wasn't necessary, but I thought we'd see," Olivia provided to that. She almost felt like she needed to provide some sort of justification for their attendance now.

Will had carried Noah back up stairs and placed him in her lap. He was barely awake. It'd been a really busy day for him. Lots of excitement and playing with his 'cousins' always wore him out. An afternoon at Ted and May's usually proved pretty rough-and-tumble for her little boy. Add in the sugar highs and the Christmas jitters and the house pretty much seemed like a Looney bin as far as she was concern. Noah was clearly pretty tired – and he had good reason. She stroked his hair a bit.

"You want to go take a bit of a sleep before we go to sing the carols at church?" she asked him. She'd been trying to frame church that way for him that afternoon. The religious aspect of it would've gone over his head. The carols likely would too when he realized they weren't singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or Frosty at mass.

But he shook his head vehemently at the concept of taking a nap and pulled away from her a bit.

"Hmm," she hummed against his cheek, still holding him tight to her despite his little struggle. "You're acting pretty tired."

"I'm not," he told her, seeming to wake up a bit more at the concept of going to bed.

"You're not tired? Do you want to open a present then?" she whispered into his ear. He perked up more and looked at her. "And then we'll take you upstairs for a rest before church," she added.

He didn't verbally agree to that part of the plan but crawled off her and towards the tree in the living room where her and Will had been instructed to stash his gifts. Olivia felt a little weird having all the presents lying about on the floor as the throngs of people mingled at the party. But she supposed it really hadn't been a problem in the end. It didn't look like anything had gotten stepped on or misplaced or misgiven or whatnot.

Karen smiled, as she watched him. Her kids were passed the whole Christmas being magical thing and it was fun to watch a little boy excited by it.

"Which one can I open?" Noah asked looking back at his mother. She was leaning forward on the couch a bit and pointed.

"See the two red ones there?"

"Two?" he asked excitedly.

"Two," she nodded.

He dug them out and brought them back to her just as Will was coming back from the kitchen with some more drinks and a juice for the boy.

"Oooh, are we opening some presents?" he asked, cuddling in behind Liv's back a bit.

Karen had noticed that the other woman was allowing her baby brother-in-law to show some affection in front of her but Olivia had clearly shied away when Rob – or his parents - had been in the room. She got the sense that some of the brief touches and little looks the two were sharing were still being muted compared to how they truly interacted at home and in private. They sure seemed like a couple to her despite Will's continued protests that they were just friends. Her husband always scoffed at that in private when they gossiped about what was going on between the two of them. "Yeah, friends with benefits," Rob would say with a touch of disapproval.

Noah shook the rectangular box roughly above his head and then sighed at his mother.

"It's clothes," he told her.

"Is it? Guess you'll have to open it and find out."

May had apparently overheard the chatter and had come to the doorway to watch – leaving the clean up to others for the moment.

Noah unceremoniously ripped the paper off and barely paused to figure out how to open the taped shut box, before shaking the lid off and pulling out the wrapping paper.

"Star Wars," he shrieked and held up the top of the flannel pajama set.

He was obsessed with Star Wars right now. Will had put turned on the animated television show when he'd had him over at his place one night a couple months ago when she'd been running late – again - one night. Noah hadn't been able to talk about much of anything else since – and after he'd realized there was an endless collection of toys and games and books about the movies, the fascination had quickly intensified. Of course, Will professing the apparent coolness of the series and feeding Noah's enthusiasm about it all didn't really help. Will was about the coolest person ever as far as Noah was concerned. So if Will thought it was cool – it was beyond cool and Noah had to dive into it head first.

"Whoa, very cool," Will told him. "I think I need a pair of those too." Liv elbowed him in the ribs.

Noah was examining them. "It's Empire Strike Backs," he informed them.

Karen snorted and stood up. "Now that scares a bit that he knows that," she shook Will's shoulder as she headed across the living room to where a bottle of wine had been left sitting open.

"It scares me that you can't tell just by looking at it," Will shot back at her.

Noah was working at trying to pull his shirt and sweater vest over his head so he could put the PJs on. Liv glanced to see who was still in sight. Will caught the look. He thought Liv could sometimes be a little uptight about situations that he wouldn't even classify as nakedness. But she usually shutdown any sort of conversation he tried to initiate about it – even if he tried to present it with sarcasm or as a joke. So he usually just tried to convince himself that whatever the discomfort was about was related to all her years working in sex crimes and dealing with child abuse. He'd imagine he'd look at people a bit more suspiciously if he'd spent his adult life dealing with all that too.

"Bud, let's go upstairs and try those on and brush your teeth before we open the next one," he intervened, trying to calm her.

Noah seemed OK with the plan and had the clothes in his hand and headed towards the stairs without being asked again. Will pushed forward and moved to follow him up the stairs.

"We'll be back in the minute," he told her, just getting a small nod in return.

Karen had brought the bottle over. "Do you want a top up?" she asked as the two boys disappeared upstairs for the moment.

"No, I'm good, thanks." Liv habitually put her hand over the top of her glass.

"Will's always really good with him the times he's been over here," she motioned towards the stairs. "It's kind of fun to watch." She smiled a little. "Because Will's Will. I mean – I must've known Will since I was about 15. So he would've been about Noah's age. Some times it's still funny to see him grown up and with a kid in tow - and still all about the Star Wars and the Star Trek and all of that. Not like his brothers at all. Does his own thing."

Olivia smiled. She knew that Will's family, even with him now a grown man and a tenured university professor, still saw him as the family baby. Often they still treated him that way too. Will often expressed his frustrations about it. Sometimes after time with his family – especially his dad or his brother Tom – he'd come home really upset about it all.

"He's really good with him," she allowed in his defense.

She often felt like she was defending Will on visits with his family. He didn't do a very good job at standing up for himself and she suspected that was part of the reason his family teased – and sometimes outright bullied – him so much. But she still often had to stop herself from being too outwardly critical – reminding herself that she hadn't had much of a family and hadn't had siblings, so she really didn't have any basis to understand the dynamic. Still, Will was a grown man now and some of the interactions she witnessed with these other supposed adults in his life who were allegedly his loving family just pissed her off.

"Noah loves having someone to share all that geeky stuff with," she added – trying to make clear that Will's geek factor wasn't reason for teasing (even though Liv sometimes teased him about it herself and even though she didn't think Karen was one of the ones who tortured him about his interests). "It's good for me too. I still don't know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek."

"Or Marvel versus DC?" Karen teased. "I got that one down eventually going through teenaged boys – but it took a while. Will helped out a bit with that. But I mostly had to do the sports, sports, sports thing, though."

"We're a baseball family," Olivia nodded. "… I guess."

She probably would've called herself and Noah a basketball, or maybe a football, family before Will had arrived in their lives. The Knicks still ended up on the television screen but she couldn't even think of the last time she'd taken in a Jets or Giants game. Instead when Will claimed space on her couch hockey or baseball often ended up on it – and their seasons seemed to drag on for an eternity longer than basketball and football, as far as she was concerned. She'd followed the Yankees a bit before Will – she almost had to when working with men and cops. But Will had made clear to her that baseball was near religion and she had to admit she'd kind of gotten on that bandwagon. He was fun to watch it with and he was just generally fun to talk to sports about. He was so fucking animated and the slants he went on about some of it was just not the usual coffee time rants she'd hear from the guys at work. Most of Will's arguments were number and stats based in all these calculations about how to make the best team possible. He said it was money ball. She said his speculations should be tested in a fantasy league but he usually scoffed at that like he wouldn't lower his big talk to that kind of level.

"Oh, what New York law enforcement family isn't a Yankees fan?" Karen teased back again.

Olivia didn't have to get into that debate, though, which she thought was likely some sort of friendly NYPD versus FDNY ribbing. Noah had trotted back downstairs.

"They fit," he declared and sat back next to her on the couch where he'd left the other present.

"That one for me?" Rob asked from the door as he moseyed in. He sat on the arm of the chair his wife was sitting on and she rubbed his back.

Will glanced around the room, not sure where to sit now and sunk to the floor next to Liv's feet – thinking she wouldn't want him to sit behind her now that his brother was in the room.

"Well com'on squirt," Rob told Noah. "Let's see what it is."

Noah looked to his mother for approval before working on the wrapping paper on the square box.

The top was sealed and he had to hand it to his mother for help – but she handed it to Will. It was his tape-happy ways that caused the problem in the first place and she wasn't about to wreck the tiny bit of the nails she had trying to tear it open.

Will fiddled with his handy job trying to get the epic amounts of tape to let loose.

"Com'on Will, let's get this show on the road," his brother teased him.

"Yeah, yeah," he groaned, finally getting the one flap to open enough that the boy would be able to pull the contents out. He didn't achieve it without getting a paper-cut, though, and stuck his finger in his mouth as he handed it back to Noah.

Noah excitedly pulled the contents out. A stuffed dinosaur, which he seemed happy about, and a book.

"What's the book called?" he asked his mom.

"How do dinosaurs say I love you?" She read for him – leaning forward and pointing at each word. "Look at the cover," she added pointing. "Look at your stuffy."

Noah looked back and forth. He smiled. "It's the dino from the book," he declared happily. She nodded. "Can we read it?" He asked, handing it to her.

"Yep and then nap – until church," she reminded him.

Again no comment was made and he just snuggled up to her. She tapped Will on the shoulder. "Get up here," she told him quietly.

He gave her a small smile and pushed himself up next to her on the couch. Noah liked the voices Will did in stories. Though, she didn't think this was a story that'd need a lot of character voices. Still, Will had become a fairly regular feature and her and Noah's story-time and she didn't want to exclude him – even though they had an audience.

Will had glanced at his brother but he wasn't even looking at them. He felt some relief. That could just be them for the moment without judgment it seemed.

Noah had the book open and his mother was playing with his hair.

"You going to read it to us or you want us to read to you?" she teased a little. Her son was an early reader. But his abilities weren't quite that impressive yet.

"You read," he said.

"Mmm," she nodded, taking the book and opening it up for him to gaze at. "You woke in the morning in such a bad mood," she read. "Then sat at the table and fussed with your food. But then you blew kisses and waved from the door. I love you, I love you – my precious dinosaur."


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

Karen had been right. Noah had passed out in the pew before the end of midnight mass.

Getting him back up and dressed to head out to the church had been enough of a challenge that she'd questioned even more whether it was worth the bother. But she had been glad she had.

Noah was fascinated with the decorations at the church – the giant trees decorated with the white lights and the poinsettias all over the alter. He'd spent a long time over at the nativity scene with Will, looking at the manager and the rest of the figures and apparently asking questions. She'd decided to stay in the pew and let Will handle the religious explanations. She wouldn't have any – not real one. And, she'd felt Will's stance on his religious upbringing would temper any responses he actually gave to her son. But based on some of the little questions and comments that Noah had apparently let slip from his mouth, she was regretting that she hadn't gone over to participate too.

The religious aspects of the season just wasn't something she'd ever really bothered to go into too much detail with him. She wasn't sure she wanted to start now. Though, it was clear that his parents were taking some glee in the fact that they'd come to church with them. It actually made Olivia a bit uncomfortable and made her think that joining them probably wouldn't be something her and Noah did again. She didn't want them to get the wrong idea. This wasn't them taking an interest in their religious doctrine. This was just her trying to be polite and respectful of their traditions – and really, just try to spend the time with Will.

Noah liked it when the carols started on the big organ before the mass had started and had stood on the knee rest to get a better view at the beginning of it during the procession. He'd carefully watched Will and mirrored his movements for when he stood, sat and kneeled – opening the liturgy and looking into it too. But as the service went on, she saw him fidgeting more, his not so quietly whispered questions and comments to her increased and so did her hushing and then as she finally managed to truly still him in the pew, his eyes started getting heavy. By the end of it, he was leaning against her asleep. She hadn't felt too badly about it – considering when she looked down the pew at Rob's family his 14-year-old also seemed to be drowsing and the other three just looked bored out of their minds.

It had then been a whirlwind since getting back to Will's parents' house. Tom and his family were was back at this point, and he and his wife, Becky, had stopped in with their wild boys in tow. Though it seemed casual – he cajoled Will into "just one more beer and a little nog before you hit the sack." And then there'd be chitchat and dragging down the Santa presents and stockings.

Olivia was exhausted by the time it was said-and-done and she got the impression it was socially acceptable for her to call it a night. She didn't know how Will did it every year. She wasn't sure that this would be her vision of Christmas every year – but figured it was about all he knew.

She'd left the door open a crack after she'd finished readying herself for bed – making sure Noah would be able to locate her if he did get up in the night or that she'd be able to hear him if he called from the next room over. She was siting on the corner of the bed putting on some lotion when Will sauntered into the room from a shower – dressed only in his briefs. He groaned and threw himself at the bed, tossing aside a towel he'd still been drying his hair with.

She watched him for a moment and rubbed his arm. "Wrong room," she told him quietly. "You'll get your family talking and wondering more than they already are."

He just moaned at her. She knew his family didn't know what to make of them. That it was confusing for them to not have a straight answer about whether they were a couple. It was even more confusing for them to hear that they were just friends. She got the impression that his firefighter brothers didn't believe a man and woman could be friends and spend as much time together as her and Will did. She could only imagine what they'd think if they knew how much time she spent with her partner at work. If her and Will seemed like they might as well be married – her and El might as well be an old, dysfunction married couple toddling down the street together.

Still, she didn't think any of his family catching him in his underwear passed out on the bed in her bedroom – after they'd gone through the awkward song-and-dance to make clear she wanted a bedroom of her own – was going to do much in quieting the family chatter about their relationship. In other circumstances, Olivia wouldn't have really cared. Will was in-and-out of her apartment enough that they'd both seen each other in various states of undress. It wasn't uncommon for him to wander to her apartment door in his briefs in the morning looking for milk for his cereal or coffee or some bananas or yogurt for his smoothie. Or maybe he was just looking for some general excuse to flash his abs and cycler's thighs at her. Or he just had no sense. He really could be a complete idiot. If they were worried about what his parents thought or were saying – she could just imagine what some of the people on their floor who had seen him make his morning trek would be saying or thinking. They probably thought they were just as ridiculous - and generally awful neighbors.

She wasn't about to rag on him about the entire complexities of their dynamic that much that night, though. He had drunk a lot and she could tell he was hurting. She rarely saw him drink - and had only known him to ever have one or two on the occasions she did see him with a bottle. Today she'd hardly seen him at all without a drink in his hand. If he was hurting then, he was only going be hurting worse when Christmas morning officially did roll around.

"I'm too drunk to move," he informed her and rolled off his belly to look at her. "I'm so tired. I won't be touching you. Same as always. Let me pass out here."

She sighed and examined him. He was asking permission to stay – and there was a part of her that wanted to allow it. There were lots of parts of her that regularly wanted to let the walls down and give it a try. But at that point it felt like they had too much at stake. And he wasn't really asking for that anyways. He was just asking to sleep there – likely as protection from himself and his own drunkenness. It'd just make everything even more confusing for her, though, not to mention more complicated for their interactions for with his family.

"Will …" she let out slowly.

He groaned again and pushed himself upright, moving to get out of the bed.

"You should likely sleep on your side – for if you puke," she told him as he did get up. He shot her a dirty look.

So, she got up with him and handed him a bottle of water she'd brought upstairs and then went and dug some tablets she'd dug out of her toiletry bag for him.

"Take them and drink the whole bottle," she nudged him with it again.

He took it all with a nod and started to crack the cap.

"Noah's still asleep?" he asked.

She nodded, pulling back the covers on the one side of the bed and getting in. "He's exhausted too. Pretty busy day for him."

He reached over and switched off the bedside light next to her, having chugged the water.

"How late do you think he'll sleep?" he asked as he straightened back up. He didn't sound quite as drunk as he looked.

She glanced at the clock. It was 3:20. She didn't recall ever staying up that late on Christmas Eve before – even with a sleepless child.

"I don't know. I guess it will depend on where he lands in terms of exhaustion versus excitement. I hope he gives us until at least 6 – but you might be looking at more like 5."

He groaned again. "Try to push him back," he said, heading for the door. "But wake me up for the excitement. Don't let me miss it."

She gave him a thin smile through the darkened room. "I will," she agreed. "Don't worry."

"Night, Liv," he whispered as he stepped outside the door, his stride still obviously under the influence. He started to pull the shut behind him. "Merry Christmas."

"Night," she allowed. "Merry Christmas. Leave the door open a crack …"

She saw him give another small nod from the light streaming in from the hall, stumble a bit more and then his shadow disappeared with his heavy footsteps off towards the room he'd been assigned to.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

She'd be surprised that she seemed to have woken up first. There was no evidence of Noah having stirred yet.

She looked at the glowing clock. 7:43. Wow.

She creaked open the door and peaked into the room Noah was sleeping in. He was still there. The night before had exhausted him more than she had even anticipated. So she walked down the hall a bit more and looked in on Will – making sure he was still breathing. He was sprawled all over the double bed that he looked far too big for – on his stomach in a way that was causing him to snore just a bit. He'd apparently survived the night too but didn't look anywhere near ready to be roused.

She walked to the bathroom and relieved herself. Looking in the mirror, she tied up her hair again to try to hide some of the bed head, and brushed her teeth and scrubbed the sleep from her face.

She'd heard May downstairs already as she walked by the top of the stairs, so she headed down as she finished her quick prep and clean-up for the day. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not. She usually tried to keep her solo interactions with Will's parents to a minimum. It was always better to have him present to redirect and deflect their attention.

Will's mother turned around from the stove as she entered and gave her a smile. It didn't seem like Will's dad was up yet either. Either that or he'd retreated to the basement to watched something on the television – whatever sports aired before 8 a.m. on Christmas morning? Or maybe he'd gone over to one of Will's brothers' houses to participate in the hoopla there. She wondered when their posses rose on Christmas morning. She supposed they had more experience dealing with the never-ending Christmas Eve extravaganza that the McTeagues apparently reveled in.

"Good morning," May greeted. "Merry Christmas. Did you sleep well, dear?"

Olivia rubbed her eyebrow a bit. May had hardly said anything to her and she was already thinking that maybe it would be best to go back upstairs and pretend to sleep until Noah and Will got up.

May was in a housecoat and obviously still in her sleepwear too – but Olivia still felt a little underdressed in her yoga pants and tank. It was likely time to pull out that sweater Will had suggested to cover up a bit more. She usually didn't worry about those things at home. Sweaters and cover-ups for when she was cold – not for when she was just preparing to spend the morning lounging around with the boys.

"Merry Christmas. I slept well, thanks. The bed's comfortable," she allowed.

"I'm surprised Noah didn't have you up earlier," May smiled.

"I am too," she acknowledged with a thin smile and a little nod. "But it was a busy day for him - and a late night. I guess we exhausted him."

And he's four, Olivia thought but didn't let that part slip from her lips. She was afraid it might be offensive. Maybe all the McTeague grandchildren were active participants in yesterday's craziness by the time they were four. But that was definitely not something Noah had been anywhere near primed for.

The reality was that how her and Noah did Christmas wasn't nearly as action packed as their previous day had been. Their Christmas morning was just as low-key. With just the two of them, it wasn't exactly a flurry of activity and excitement. He pretty much got up when he got up. She never really pushed for him to be crazy excited about all the hoopla either. She didn't really need to deal with extra craziess. Little boy hyperactivity was enough most days. So even on Christmas they just did their thing. Besides, the slower the start to the day, generally, the longer it could last.

May just nodded. "I just thought that I'd get some breakfast started. I thought if I got the coffee and bacon going, it might rouse Will."

Olivia allowed smiled. "I think he'll need it. He's was a little rough last night."

May looked at her questioningly and Olivia realized that maybe her wording hadn't been the best. Still, eventually the other woman just shook her head.

"He tries to keep up with his brothers. Some things never change." She turned from the stove. "He drank too much?"

She looked down. "Maybe a little."

"Well, hopefully he'll still be able to enjoy the day when he does get going," she sighed.

Olivia had about the same thoughts in that regards. Considering she'd come over to spend the day with Will – considering he'd expressed excitement about getting to watch Noah open his Christmas gifts – she was going to be a little disappointed if he was too hung-over to actually participate. She'd probably be a little angry at him too. He was a grown man – a grown man who rarely drank as far as she could tell – he should've known his limits and stopped. But maybe he wasn't quite as bad as she thought. It hadn't looked like he'd been up vomiting – she would've heard it. So hopefully he'd hydrated himself enough before going to sleep (which she sort of doubted) and the headache wouldn't be too bad when he did rise.

"Is there anything I can help with?" Olivia offered.

May looked at her. "Well, I didn't really know what you all like to eat for breakfast," she said. "Normally I'd do pancakes on Christmas morning but didn't know if you and Noah would eat those."

Liv nodded. She actually wouldn't have minded pancakes. She couldn't think of the last time she'd had them. But she sensed that wasn't on the menu. She wasn't sure what anyone would have against pancakes? What she might've said to May in the past that would have her suspecting that pancakes were a no-no to her and Noah? The syrup maybe?

Sometimes she could be a little specific about the amount of sweets and sugar she allowed her son to have in a given day and a lot of times May was shoving cookies and muffins and scones and desserts at them from the moments they arrived at the house. But that was different from having a pancake or two for breakfast as far as Olivia was concern.

"I thought bacon and eggs would be safe?" May added. "But then I know you and William are health nuts. So I bought a bunch of fresh fruit too," she pointed to the counter.

"Bacon and eggs sound good," Olivia assured – despite thinking that pancakes sounded better.

If Will would eat the bacon, he could likely use the grease for his hangover. She supposed, though, that May would have pork bacon, not turkey. So Will would probably turn-up his nose at it and she wasn't sure she agreed that eggs and hangovers went together too well. But she thought that was Will's problem. He could be rude to his mother. She wasn't going to set that precedent when she was supposed to be a guest in their home on Christmas.

"I could cut up some of the fruit, if you'd like," she offered.

May nodded, "The knives are in the top drawer over there."

She nodded and collected some of the grapes, oranges, strawberries, watermelon, pineapple, apples and bananas that were piled in the corner. She honestly didn't know how much they could eat of all of that. She saw that some of it was already starting to spoil.

"Would you like me to cut up enough to put out over the course of the day – or do you just want some for breakfast?"

"Oh, you know better," May said, "whatever you think you all will eat. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get the rest of that lot to ingest it when there's cookies and chocolate and whatnot around."

She nodded – feeling badly that there was no way the three of them could eat that much fruit in a day and knowing that some of it would be money going into the garbage. She took some stuff to the sink and rinsed it off, before taking it and a plate to the table to start chopping and laying it out.

"I wanted to thank you for having Noah and I over," she said to May's back. She was never particularly good at thank yous and she often felt even more awkward about them with Will's parents for some reason. Likely because they were nice enough and giving people but there was just something about their nature – the overbearingness likely, combined with Will's stories about his childhood – sometimes just rubbed her the wrong way. It made it difficult for her to be a polite as was likely expected of her.

"Oh, please," May said, though. "You're always welcome. I'm glad you came."

She just nodded. She wasn't sure what to talk about with Will's mom. Not sure how to act.

"It will be nice to get to watch your Noah when he gets up and going. I haven't gotten to be around when a little one has gotten to see what Santa left for a long time."

Olivia smiled.

"Well, I don't know how well Santa did. We didn't put the couple bigger things we got him out from Santa," she admitted. Then quickly realized she'd said 'we' and shut up without saying more. But it had been both her and Will shopping and he had ended up buying some of the gifts.

May gave her a bit of a 'that's sad' look at the potential failure of Santa. But Olivia had never been much for the whole Santa-thing. It seemed a bit like a lie – even if it was a fun one. And, really, even though her son did get gifts from Santa, she really preferred the more expensive or thoughtful ones to have clearly come from her. She sort of hoped that it would create a bit more appreciation and gratitude amidst the magic. Maybe it would help in the transition and elimination of Santa when they reached that point a few years down the line too.

Will stumbled into the kitchen rather suddenly. For how he was still swaying and leaning against the doorway for support, she was surprised she hadn't heard him coming down the stairs. But she supposed she'd been distracted by the interactions with his mother. His hair was standing on end but he had managed to pull on flannel pants and a tshirt – likely better than his briefs from the night before. She didn't think Will's family was an underwear family. Or maybe it was more that he was hiding his tattoos.

She'd teasingly asked him a couple times before if his family was aware of the extent of his ink but he'd always just muttered at her and deflected the line of questioning. So she took it as a no and that it wasn't something she was supposed to mention to them. She hoped they never saw him in a bathing suit. She wondered if he took his little nieces and nephews to the beach or pool in a tshirt too.

"I smelled coffee and I heard talking," he mumbled, going to a coffee maker and pulling a mug from the cupboard.

"Aspirin is on top of the fridge," his mom waved the spatula at it.

"Mmm, I'm OK," he said.

"You take some," she told him sternly. "If your head's not spinning now – it will be later and we can't have that after everyone else gets here."

He obediently took some and held out the bottle towards Liv.

She gave him a small laughed and a half smile. "I'm OK."

She'd only had a few glasses of wine the day before – and it was spread out through the entire afternoon and evening. She hadn't aimed to break any records – or forget Christmas – like he'd clearly been shooting for.

He grunted. "Do you want coffee?" He didn't wait for an answer. He was already pouring it into a mug for her. "That smells good, Mom," he said.

"It will be ready in a few minutes," she told him. "How do you want your eggs?"

He nodded towards Liv. "Scrambled? Scrambled." He looked back at his mom. "But milk, Mom. Don't. Just … muck them around."

He went and sat at the table with Liv and took a couple grapes from the plate and put them in his mouth.

"Noah's not up yet?"

She shook her head. She looked at the clock. "I'll let him sleep a bit more. If he's not up by the time you've got some grease into you, I'll go wake him."

He nodded. "Hmm. Mom? Turkey bacon?"

She gazed at him if that was a foreign concept. Olivia could feel Will almost sigh at that but he did his best to stifle it.

"I'll just have some of the eggs," he said.

May gapped at him.

"It's pork, Mom. I don't eat pork," he clarified.

"It's bacon," she protested – like the fact it was pork was completely irrelevant. Or maybe she just had completely forgotten that bacon was, in fact, pork.

Will just shook his head at her. Olivia could almost feel the situation escalating and invested more of her attention into her cutting and slicing and chopping of the fruit.

"You need to live a little," she heard from the door and glanced up to see Will's father joining them in the kitchen.

She shook her head but realized she had and again looked back down to what she was doing – wanting to stay out of it. She knew Will wasn't a bacon fan. He had very strong opinions about pork, in general. She'd heard it all before. She was sure his family had too. The difference was she didn't ride him about it – and she actually didn't want to hear his spiel about it again either.

"How can you not like bacon? I will never understand," Ted added, as he went looking for his own mug for coffee.

Will just shrugged, though, as he often did with his father. "It's fine. I'm sorry. Noah will be happy to have some – and I'm fine with eggs."

Sometimes Olivia hated his interactions with his father almost as much as she did with his brothers. Ted always seemed to win – mostly because Will just lay down before the discussion even began. She hated that about him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

Olivia had nearly had to pull Noah out of bed. She had to remind him it was Christmas twice and more importantly that presents were waiting for him downstairs before he finally perked up. Even then it'd taken Will and an offered glass of juice – getting some sugar into his system - before he really started to show some life. But after he got downstairs, he started to smile and show some giddiness, finally snapping out of the Christmas Eve lag. The lack of enthusiasm her little boy was showing for Christmas morning, though, seemed to prove to her even more that Will's family was doing something wrong. Or maybe it was just their holiday routine fell so far outside of her and Noah's usual realm.

Liv had warned Will – and instructed him to warn his parents – that Noah was a slow present opener. That he'd be so taken with a toy – that he'd want to play with it for quite some time before wanting to move on to the next gift. It was even worse in that his couple Santa gifts were unwrapped and his stocking was full of goodies demanding his attention. She knew from experience that meant they'd just be sitting there watching him play with those for hours before they could even interest him into moving over to the tree and unwrapping some gifts. She thought it might even be surprising for Will. They'd shared a few Christmas rituals together in previous years – but this was the first time he was getting the full Christmas morning experience with the little boy. She thought Will was slightly more excited about that than Noah … slightly.

It took nearly two hours just to get beyond the mantle in his parents' home, though. The length of time was only exasperated by Noah's curiosity in what her and Will were pulling out of the stockings that they'd agreed to do for each other. Olivia had felt a little silly sitting on his parents' floor looking at little trinkets and gags that only meant much of anything to her and Will.

They'd started the little exchange the previous year. But then they'd waited until after he'd returned from his not-so-little family get-together and series of commitments. They'd done it in private and not under the prying eyes of his parents, who likely wondered what some of the little novelties were all about. It was probably only adding to their confusion about what her and Will's relationship was or wasn't.

She probably would've preferred if they'd waited to do their stockings until they both got home. But Will had insisted. And, really, it was a minor distraction from having to show extended fascination in Noah's fascination with his new toys. Too bad it was being compromised by him crawling over to examine each thing they pulled out – wanting to play with it himself or ask for clarification on each item. It was slowing the whole Christmas morning process down even more than their usual.

Will continuing to bulk up on Noah's introduction to Star Wars didn't help either. Noah had spotted the Battlepack containing three Star Wars figures that 'Santa' (aka Will) had left for him almost as soon as he'd gotten to the bottom of the stairs. Will had had Greg put it aside at the comic shop and Noah was clearly over the moon to see this specific pack of characters. Apparently adding Boba Fett to his growing collection was quite the achievement – according to Will. Noah would've been happy with whatever. But the fact that Will was telling him it was cool was only helping matter.

Each figure was tested as it was ripped from the box – and the box was ripped to shreds in the process. The accessories were added to each little men and then taken on and off as the joints were bent into different poses; each collector card examined. The very important information on the cards was clarified and recited to them by Will. Though Noah seemed pretty determined that he got to hold the cards while Will tried to look at them, making the recital process go a little slow too.

Still it was fun to watch them. She liked seeing her son interacting so effortlessly with a male role-model. She was learning not to get hung-up on all the geeky factors that Will was teaching her son and just enjoying that her little boy was able to have a connection with a man – a father figure for him. She hadn't be sure Noah would ever have that in his life. At least not from a man who he got to be around so much. She'd figured Elliot – probably Munch. But a man that he saw near daily? She that wasn't really something she'd counted on at that point in her life. She'd settled into acceptance during her pregnancy that she'd be going it alone. If she'd found dating hard before Noah's arrival – it certainly wasn't going to get easier after she was a single mother. She, honestly, hadn't even settled back into even attempting a dating life yet. She didn't know if she ever would. It least it didn't seem to look like she needed to for Noah's benefit anymore. She'd somehow managed to snag him a daddy figure without really trying. But at this point she was just happy it was coming from someone she'd become such good friends with - so close to. That was really what she wanted for her child anyways. She wouldn't have let him bound with someone she didn't trust. Her caring deeply about Will too just made it … better.

Her feet fell asleep sitting on the floor listening to them, though, and at that point Noah still hadn't gotten to his other Santa present – a Lego Brickmaster book. That had seemed like a great idea at the time – instructions, a book, Lego, storage. Easy enough for her and Noah to both enjoy. Storage so she didn't have to step on it. Easily transportable so she could drag it somewhere and set him down with it while hoping that half the pieces wouldn't be lost in the process. Challenging enough that Will could prattle at the little boy about more complicated Lego creations.

On their Christmas shopping trip Olivia had definitely gotten the impression that Will was already dreaming about when Noah was a bit older and he could start having an excuse to buy some rather expensive block sets of rather strange looking spaceships. She'd pointed out there were dinosaur and police car sets. Will, however, had countered that the Star Wars ones were much cooler. She'd given him a look that likely made clear that 'cool' wasn't exactly how'd she describe them. But she'd managed to bite her tongue in that particular moment.

Sometimes she got the impression that he only hung out with her so he could hang out with her son. He wasn't courting her. He clearly wasn't even attempting to woo her anymore. That had ended years ago. Her setting him straight had definitely sunk in and he'd just … given up maybe. Or accepted their interactions for what they were. What they were some days, it seemed, was a compromise to allow Will Noah time so he could indulge in some of his more juvenile interests – comic books, Lego, Star Wars, super heroes, board games. Saying those were interests he enjoyed for the sake of a four-year-old seemed to make them a bit more socially acceptable. Because then he wasn't doing it for him, right? He was doing it for Noah, right? Really, though, if it had been about any other grown man expressing such an admiration of that collection of things and wanting to share that with her child and play with her son – she likely would've been diving into the sex offender registry and taking out a restraining order. Thankfully it hadn't come to that …

But it quickly became apparent that there wasn't much practicality to putting Lego out of a Santa gift. If they'd let him, Noah would've spent all day working through each suggested build project in the book. Will likely would've too if Olivia – and eventually his mother and father – hadn't started making little comments to nudge things along.

Getting Noah to move his butt four feet to look at his stocking and the couple smaller gifts sitting next to it had been challenging. Will's parents had put out a coloring set that the little boy thought he should open right then and start working on – that was until Will distracted him with the color-in tattoo art set.

Will had thought was an awesome idea. Olivia wasn't so sure about the concept of giving her son permission to draw all over himself – they had enough problems with that with his markers as it was. She'd been even less sure if she wanted to promote that tattoos were a super-awesome-cool option that Noah should start considering. Though, she supposed that damage had already been done in their trips to the pool with Will and her little boy's repeated observation and fascination with the ink all over the men's body. It might has well have been some sort of storyboard for Noah.

She was sure if Will was still in their lives when Noah was older, convincing him as a teenager or a young adult that tattoos might not be the best option and should be done in moderation and with consideration about how you'd feel about them later in life, might prove to be a challenge. Unless, of course, at that point Will had decided that being that covered in body-art hadn't actually been the best choice. But he certainly didn't seem to feel that way about it yet in their casual discussions about his decorations. Even if Will was out-of-sight and out-of-mind by the time her little boy was pushing her buttons and bugging her about things like piercings and tattoos and dying his hair some whacky color – she was sure Will's appearance would be seared into his childhood memories and used as an example of its permissibility.

Will had expressed her objections to the play tattoo set were 'ridiculous', though, and he'd grabbed it himself and paid for it himself. She probably would've felt slightly better about it coming from him than from Santa, though. Santa didn't need to be adding his approval to the tattoo debate.

Really – she could've shut Will down on it all. It was her son. But given that they'd been doing the present sorting and wrapping on the floor of his childhood bedroom at his parents' house – she had been doing her best to keep her voice down and not make a scene that would attract even more attention to their interactions. She thought that might've been part of Will's plan too. Maybe his gamification studies had more real world applications than she gave it credit for. Check and mate.

Still, with seeing the kit, Noah had immediately wanted to rip it out of the box too – much to Will's delight – and try it. Olivia had managed to persuade him into leaving it for another time. She thought that was best for everyone. Will's mother had made some little comments about 'that present choice' – clearly not seeing, or caring about the joy that was painted across Noah and Will's faces about it. The comments, though, made Olivia think the woman definitely didn't need to see her son covering himself in artwork. It also made her suspect yet again that she had no clue about the extent of the markings all over her own son's body.

At that point, Olivia was starting to really hope she would end up with the week she'd booked off without getting called in. She'd need at least that to get to watch her son play with his new toys – at the rate he was going. He might not even have some of the presents open by the time the week was out.

And, if she thought him observing them emptying their stockings was an ordeal – it was even more time consuming as Noah worked away on his. Each item was examined. The candy he wanted to eat immediately and she kept having to take it from him to save for later. That seemed to pull some little snide comments from Will's father about 'why'd you even put it in there if the boy doesn't get to eat it? It's Christmas.' But she tried to ignore it and bite her tongue. She'd interacted with Ted enough to know to not engage most of the time. He didn't think twice at expressing most of his opinions. She just didn't care to hear about 90 per cent of them most of the time.

Noah seemed most excited to find a gift certificate to go to the movies – which apparently he expected to also happen immediately but she was hoping he'd manage to be distracted from that idea for at least a few days, if not longer. He'd also seemed oddly gleeful about his new pair of socks, which had moose all over them. The little graphic tshirt she'd shoved into the sock to bulk it up and fill it out had won points too. He'd tried to pull it on over top of his Christmas Eve pajamas, though, and she again had to step in and suggest that maybe he should wait to put on the shirt until he was ready to fully get dressed.

When the comic came out, he wanted to sit and look at it – and for Will to read it to him. When the Wall-E DVD set came out, he asked if they could watch it now. Uno and he wanted to learn to play. The dot-to-dot and mazes puzzles book came out – and he wanted to start it right away. And on it went.

She felt like she kept bursting his bubble, as she tried to guide him on – especially under the watchful eyes of Will's parents, who were clearly used to observing much more animated Christmas mornings that were said-and-done with at a clip that she didn't want to think about. She was starting to get the impression that at the houses on either side of them there was just a tornado of paper filling the living rooms. Actually, the tornados had probably already long settled. She imagined the families of Will's brothers were done with their Christmas mornings by about 7 a.m. – and that they'd likely ripped through the gifts in maybe three minutes flat. They definitely wouldn't have spent multiple hours just looking at Santa gifts and stockings.

The reality was, if they'd been at home, Olivia would've let Noah take as much time as he wanted. She would've humored him longer at each step. She would've drank her coffee and moved from the floor to the couch and back – playing with him and watching him and chatting with him and helping him as he needed. She would've been fine taking a break to watch a movie or to read a book or to learn to play a new game – or even to spend hours putting together a Lego model only for him to break it apart and want to build another one of the designs minutes later. But they weren't home. And, she knew even if Will's parents weren't gazing at them with some confusion and wonderment about the little process that seemed so foreign to them - there were other presents to open sitting under the tree, and really there were other things happening that day. So unless she wanted a larger audience – or to be dragging wrapped gifts back home - she had to keep him moving along.

Will must've sensed her discomfort or tension about how things were going. He rubbed her arm, giving her bicep a small squeeze and she glanced at him. He gave her a reassuring thin smile and she returned it. It just wasn't what she was used to and she felt a little out of place. And she felt like she was disappointing her son by pushing him along. Though Noah didn't seem any worse-for-the-wear because of it. There'd been no tears or real whining.

May, though, seemed to decide that it was time for her to interject on everyone's behalf.

"Santa was so good to you," she declared to Noah, "and you've still got a pile of presents under the tree from your Mom and Dad to open." She'd been feigning excitement but then clearly quickly realizing the word she'd used and slapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry," she sprouted.

"It's OK," Olivia told her – though didn't look at her – instead reaching out and rubbing Noah's shoulder. It wasn't OK.

"I don't wanna open Dad's present," he said loudly and firmly.

"That's fine, Noah," Olivia told him. "It's not even here. It's at home for when you want it." He was ignoring her a bit now, fiddling with one of the Star Wars figures again. "Nana May meant there's presents from me and Will under the tree for you, when you're ready to open them."

She looked at Will and gave a small expression of defeat that he understood. Will was more than aware that Noah's father's involvement in his life was pretty much non-existent - and that the little bit of involvement there was ultimately resulted in hurt and disappointment for the little boy. He was even more aware that Olivia was beyond frustrated with Noah's father and that the legal quibbles around his support payments – and the visitation schedule that the man never seemed too interested in - were never-ending.

"Hey bud, how about a couple cookies and some hot chocolate and then we'll take a look at what's under the tree?" Will suggested, trying to divert the boy's attention. But Noah ignored him too. "Well, you don't have to open anything – but maybe there's a couple gifts there you'd like to give Mommy? And, if not, I think I've got a couple things that I'd like your mom to open."

No response. So he just stood – giving her another glance and a sad smile - and headed to the kitchen.

_**Just as a reminder these chapters were actually written before I got too far into Undeserved. They just never got included or posted. At that time I was considering going another direction with where Olivia's dealings with Kurt Moss were and his involvement in Noah's life. It clearly went another way in Undeserved. I just decided NOT to rewrite or rejig this chapter now. So the context is remaining as it was when it was written. It is NOT an indication that something to do with Kurt in that regards is now going to come up in the remainder of Undeserved or that he'll have a re-emergence in Rollercoaster. I figured you'd want me to use my writing time and energies on wrapping up Undeserved, getting to Rollercoaster and puttering away on Hello, Goodbye - not rewriting and rejigging old text. Consider this a 'deleted scene' or 'special feature' on the series boxset. ;). These are just random freebies for the readers. Have one more chapter of these 'lost chapters' for you tomorrow and then that's it. Thanks for reading.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: Before**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Liv attempts a merry Christmas with her small son and neighbour friend. It proves a bit more complicated and less merry than she may have hoped. For the fans of my Undeserved stories who are in need of a Liv/Noah/Will AU fix. This is a stand-alone series of chapters that form an incomplete story that won't likely be updated. It is set about four months before UD.**

**Author's Notes: This story is part of the AU series that goes along with Undeserved and features Liv/Noah/Will. This series of chapters was written before Undeserved some time ago. It is set about four months before the start of UD and before Noah has cancer and before Liv/Will are in a defined relationship. These chapters are meant to stand-alone. They were written a year-ago and then it was decided that UD would start closer to Noah's diagnose and these were scrapped. I'll post the chapters over the next few days for those who need a Liv/Noah/Will fix. But please understand that this is an incomplete story and that it is not likely going to be updated at this time. However, fans of the series may enjoy the chapters for context and background on their relationship - and maybe it will hold you over until I update UD. For new readers, this AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

Will's mom followed him into the kitchen as he left Olivia comforting Noah on the floor of the living.

"Will, I am so sorry," May sputtered at him. "It just came out."

"It's OK," he said. "It's not a big deal. Just let Liv calm him down a bit. Stay in here."

His mother usually didn't listen to him very well but he hoped she would in this instance. But he was also hoping that she'd just drop it and let it slide by. That wasn't something his mother – or anyone in his family – was very good at either, though.

"It just popped out," May pressed on. "I didn't know he'd … shut down like that."

"He'll be fine," he told her. "Just give them a minute."

His mother nodded. She didn't know how it had even happened – and wasn't entirely sure why the boy was so upset. She'd just come to see Will in a fatherly role for the boy over the last few years. He seemed obvious enough to her. But it had seemed especially obvious watching them over the last 24 hours.

Will brought some water to a boil – watching the pot, which seemed to take forever to switch off and indicate the water was ready. He then it into a cup where he'd spooned in some hot chocolate powder. May had been watching him the whole time – but as usual, William remained near wordless as he dealt with the minor puttering of making the beverage. She watched him pick a couple of the healthier cookies from the stash of Christmas goodies and put them on the plate, adding some more bits of fruit that Olivia had cut earlier. And, then he again wordless went by her and returned to the living room.

So she followed him back too and saw that the woman and her son had moved over to the couch. She sat down across from Olivia and received a small smile. Though she wasn't sure how insincere it was. Her and Ted – and the boys – were trying their best to make her feel welcome there over the holidays, and really on any of her visits. But she always seemed like she felt so out-of-place and maybe like she'd just prefer to be somewhere else. She'd told her husband and boys to tone-down the firefighter bravado when the woman was paying them a visit but even that hadn't really seemed to help. Sometimes it made

May wonder why her and her son bothered to come. She'd clearly decided it was because just strictly because of Will. It wasn't like any of the boys' other friends – all generally male – who often came for a free meal, some home cooking, a stash of leftovers, some sports match on the television or beer on the back porch. Olivia seemed unimpressed and uninterested in any of that. Sometimes her and her boy barely even ate no matter how accommodating May tried to be. But the Will revelation, which ad come on about their third visit, just seemed to make it that much more confusing. She didn't understand why the two wouldn't say they were a couple?

May watched as Will put the prepared plate and mug in front of the boy. The child reached out and picked at the fruit before the cookies. She could only imagine that his mother would feel some mild self-righteousness at that after her husband having made the comments about the chocolates in the stocking. The woman had her little boy trained. Or May wondered if maybe it was Will who had him trained? Will was a health nut. But she was starting to think she'd never get a straight answer from her son about what he and Olivia were – or how much time they all spent together. But it certainly seemed like a lot. He was always mentioning Olivia and Noah and the pair had been over to their home with Will more times than May could count anymore. It was just all so strange.

"It's hot," Will warned of the beverage. "Liv, do you want something while the water is hot?"

"Hmm. I'll have another coffee if there's still some left," she told him and grabbed his hand as he walked by. If they weren't at his mother's house, she'd be holding on to him in a hug right now. Though, if they weren't at his parents' house, she didn't think she'd be feeling like she could use a hug at that point – expect maybe from Noah. She could always use hugs from him.

Will came back and handed her the cup and sat next to her rubbing his hands together and shooting a smile at the little boy.

"Where were we? Presents?" he asked teasingly.

It drew a little smile from Noah – finally.

"Can I give Mommy one?" he asked, glancing her way.

She shoved his elbow gently. "That sounds like a good idea to me," she smiled.

Noah giggled and kneeled in front of the tree searching for what he was looking for, before he crawled back to the couch and handed her a small box.

"Will helped," he told her.

"All his allowance," Will added.

"Yeah," Noah added. "I use my allowance but Will helped."

Olivia snorted. She didn't think Noah's $1 a week allowance would go very far in helping with anything. Still she smiled at her son's excitement and worked at getting the mounds of tape off. She wasn't sure that Will helped much with the disaster that was the wrapping. Or maybe he did. The man seemed to favor tape too. Maybe that was something boys didn't grow out of.

She could tell fairly quickly that it was a jewelry box and as she managed to get the paper off. Noah leaned against her knees so he could see what was inside when she snapped it open too. It was a small heart shaped locket on a simple gold chain. She touched it and smiled at her son. He was beaming.

"It's very pretty, Noah," she told him. It was near the quintessential necklace you'd expect to receive as a mother to a little boy. Of course, to get it you'd usually need a daddy around to take that little boy shopping so you could actually get a necklace like that. But apparently a guy friend could manage that too. At the moment she didn't really care. It just felt nice to get.

"It opens up," Noah instructed her even more excitedly.

"It opens up?" she asked like that was an unimaginable novelty. But she'd already determined it was a locket without his proding.

She opened it, though, and found the picture of her and Noah inside. She remembered the day. It was at the park here at Will's parents – just down the street and on the coast. It'd been take just a couple months ago. They looked happy and Noah was just beaming. He'd kicked a soccer ball around that day and stomped through leaves. They'd gotten frozen yogurt.

It was just a random, ordinary Sunday afternoon but for some reason it stuck out – likely because she remembered thinking about how normal it felt. You couldn't tell from the picture – but it was the three of them. Unless she was at work – it was always the three of them anymore. And, that Sunday, there'd just been something about it – even more-so than usual it had felt like the three of them together doing normal family Sunday afternoon things. So normal when they sometimes felt too complicated in their professed simplicity of just being friends … with no benefits. Though, the benefits were numerous in a lot of ways as far as she was concerned most of the time. At least when Will wasn't pissing her off. He excelled at that sometimes too. But she kept her tongue in check about it as much as possible considering the free babysitting service he provided when she got called in in the middle of the night or on weekends and holidays and other ungodly times that no parent – especially single parent – ever really wants to be called in for.

"To Mommy, I'll love you forever, Noah" the tiny cursive inscription read on the locket. It was from one of her favourite books to read to her little boy – high on their rotation list of bedtime stories. She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"Noah, it is wonderful," she told him. He glowed.

She turned to Will, knowing he was a major factor in her getting the gift. "Can you help me with the clasp?" she asked and he nodded, moving a little closer, taking the ends and putting it around her neck before reconnecting it.

As he finished, she cupped his cheek and very softly said, "Thank you." She knew his parents were watching that with interest too. But it was an acknowledgement to Will that she couldn't skirt in that moment. If they were home – if they were alone – he likely would've even earned a peck on the cheek for this one. But they weren't at home. So after meeting Will's eyes for a few soft moments, she turned back to her son.

"What do you think?" she asked him.

"You look pretty, Mom," he told her with enthusiasm.

She gave him another kiss on his forehead. "Thank you, sweets. I love it," she provided and gave Will another smile glance and accepted his small, almost shy smile at her comment.

**And that's it folks. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed these chapters. If you're new to my stories - you can pick up on Liv/Will/Noah's adventures in Undeserved next. Or you can go back and get some other context in Changes, Beginnings and Complicated Happiness.**

**If you're one of my long-time readers - Undeserved is four chapters a way from being done and hopefully that should all be wrapped up in about two weeks or so (maybe less!). Then you'll be able to pick up on the Liv/Will/Noah adventures in Rollercoaster, which already has several chapters up for your review. But I will likely be taking a short Liv/Will/Noah break when Undeserved does get finished before diving fully into Rollercoaster. You can check out Hello, Goodbye during that period, if you aren't already a reader. It's where I'm going to be focusing the majority of my writing time and energies for the next while after Undeserved is wrapped.**

**Thanks again for all your reads and reviews. Fell free to drop a PM with any comments or suggestions too.**


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